I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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