my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
