I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
