someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
