SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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