i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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