i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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