Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
