sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
