You just made me feel so damn special
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
