There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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