We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
