i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
