Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
