Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
