i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
