check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
