Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
