i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
