The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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