we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
