maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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