Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
