i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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