It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
