batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
