My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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