I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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