Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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