Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize