I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
