she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am mentally ready for anal.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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