That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
