Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
