i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
