i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
