I like to think it a success when the cops are called
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
