Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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