I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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