Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We need to rekindle our bromance
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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