Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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