I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He is an equal opportunity slut.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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