This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need a beard to bite.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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