It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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