ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
