i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
