On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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