Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
