I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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