i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she looked like the before picture.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Randomize
